Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Another Baby Quilt

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I am pretty sure everyone I know is pregnant.  Okay well not everyone, but it seems like every day another friend or family member announces she is pregnant.  Seriously.  I think I know like 50 women who are pregnant.  (About 30 of them live in my little neighborhood/ward.)  And although I am genuinely happy for all of them sometimes it just makes my lack of baby hurt more or again, or something.  (um, in case you have no idea what I am taking about I had a miscarriage about a month ago.)

About the time I found out I was pregnant, a very dear friend of mine (who happens to live about 3 house away) also found out she was pregnant.  Our due dates where only a few weeks apart.   She already has two cute little girls the same age as my little Logan and Bryce.  So we had already joked that this time she would have a boy and I would have a girl so they could all marry each other.

About 3 weeks after I lost my baby,  my friend across the street informs me that our friend (the one 3 houses away) who is pregnant is at the hospital losing her baby.  I cannot express the heartbreak I felt for my dear friend when I heard the news.  I was a total wreck that day while she was in the hospital.  It just wasn't fair or right.  She was like 20 weeks along.  

My dear friend was not as "lucky" as I was.  I was able to be knocked out and have a d&c, but she was too far along and had to deliver her little baby knowing he was already gone.  I can't imagine her pain, and yet I know exactly her pain.

So that night while she was in the hospital I pulled out every scrap of boy fabric I had, picked out some I thought would work well together and I made a quilt for my friend and her little boy.

This quilt is very special to me.  I made it to help her through her pain, but also to help me with my own.  I think my own hurt was still too raw and having someone I love go through it just brought all my pain back to the surface.

I used fabrics I loved, like the last few bits of this snail print I used when I made a baby quilt for Logan.

I used Red Letter Day prints like my much loved orange ducks that I used to make Bryce's baby stuff.

I used leftover bits from the pin wheel quilt I made for my little sister's baby like the green paisley with the baby bottles in it.

And I used fabric bits that were given to me when I lost my baby.

When I lost my baby many friends brought dinner, or treats, or flowers, but one wonderful friend of mine (who just happens to own a fabric store) let me come over and dig through her scrap bin while we talked and take home whatever I wanted.  She knew the therapeutic qualities of  pretty fabric and I felt like this was a very fitting use for those fabrics.  That was where I got the wood print, green chevron, orange dot and many more.  It was like I picked those fabrics to make this quilt.  I just didn't know it at the time.

I know it is kinda a crazy quilt, but I picked each of these fabrics because I loved them and I thought she would love them.  It turned out perfect for my friend.  She is a very fun person with a of personality just like the quilt.

I am so heartbroken for both of our losses, but I am grateful that when she came home I was able to take this quilt to her, hold her close, and tell her I know, it sucks, and I'm sorry.

I think one thing my friend struggled with was that she didn't feel like she was special or deserved any special treatment.  Women go through this all the time so why should she feel special. But people die everyday, children die everyday, women lose babies everyday, but every single person affected by those losses is special.  Your pain, your loss is yours and it is special.  It is uniquely yours and you have every right to feel it.

(deep cleansing breath)  Man these posts are hard to write.  It is kinda like when you get up in church to bare your testimony.  You have so many feelings and thoughts and then you start talking and then you are done and you are not sure you said everything that is in your heart.

I really hope this is the last post of this kind I will ever post.

On a crafty note. I used the yellow brick road pattern as inspiration for this quilt.  It is a really great pattern.  It pieces together quickly and easily.  Also you may notice that I just serged the edges rather than binding it.  I made it really thin and I liked the look of the serged edge.


  1. An amazing story, and a lovely idea. Reaching out to your friend who lost her baby while dealing with the loss yourself is what life is all about. May you be blessed for your kindness.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear that happen to you and your friend. Hope you are doing well. I have to say your quilt is absolutely amazing! Love the different fabrics and colors. Especially the wood grain fabric!

  3. I love the real way you have written this. Thank you. I too have sewed my sadness out (although not for the same reason as you) and find it such a therapeutic process, thank you for sharing.

    I pray that your aching arms will be comforted and that God gives you the desire of your heart.
    deb xx

  4. I love love love the colors and the fabric-pattern choices on this quilt. so pretty and something that will grow with the baby-to-be.

  5. What a great friend. Love the wood grain fabric as well- very boy.

  6. This is a beautiful quilt, made for beautiful reasons. I found you through 36th ave's link-up. Thanks for sharing this! New follower here :)

  7. You are still on your own journey towards acceptance, and yet you found it in your heart to stop and wrap your friend in the warmth of your love. She will never forget the warmth and brightness of this beautiful quilt: may it help to warm and heal you both. :)

  8. A beautiful quilt and a thoughtful gift. Only someone who has been there understands what you are going through. Peopel would say things like " there will be more babies", or "this happens to most women". Those are probably true, but not helpful in the least. I would have been so grateful to have a gift like that quilt, it would have meant that someone really realized just how much pain and loss I was feeling. What you have done is wonderful, and your friend will treasure that quilt.

  9. What a wonderful gift and beautiful post. Hugs and prayers for you and your friend.

  10. Dear Laura,

    Do you realize just how wonderful you are? I am very happy for/proud of you. There have been many occations where I almost lost my daughter with the first scare being when I was pregnant. But I have been fortunate that she is still with me. I can not completely understand your loss but I can sympathise. It is wonderful that you were able to help a friend in need even though you are still hurting. I hope that one day the pain will ease for you and your friend. It is soothing and comforting to me that we are sealed as family and if Jacquelyn one day does leave me on this earth I know that I will see her again. You and your friend are still/will be in my families prayers.


  11. I came upon your blog through Pinterest. I was so moved by your story and your quilt. There are so many women who never talk about their miscarriages. I had two over 20 years ago, and will never forget that pain. You are a wonderful friend to do this for your friend.

  12. I love the colors, fabrics, and design - and even better when they have sentimental value. Beautiful!

  13. Beautiful! I love the orange polka dots and green chevron! I would love if you'd link this up to my new linky party!!

    Happy Crafting, Mallory @ Classy Clutter

  14. What a beautiful and heartbreaking story. What a wonderful friend you are. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

    xoxo, Mallory

  15. Moving story and beautiful quilt. Thanks for sharing.

  16. Beautiful quilt and it is really wonderful that God has brought you two together. I hope you both get the peace you really deserve. HUGS!

  17. IT. IS. BEAUTIFUL! I am sure D loved it. You'll have to come over and get some replacement scraps. :)

  18. I'm so sorry for your loss. I really love the quilt you made. What a thoughtful gift.

  19. Love your quilt!! Love the fabric combination!

  20. Love your the fabric combination you used!

    Maysem @

  21. I really love the quilt you made. What a thoughtful gift, better to send it as Send gifts to Pakistan from UK.